Smile a While!
30 Dec, 2018
End of year Inspirational speech from an old pilot
I was the only speaker to show up, so I had the stage to myself.
I talked about staying in school, getting good grades and all that usual bullshit; and since I had plenty of time because those other guys didn’t show, I threw it open for questions.
The last one asked was, “Can you give us a couple of your life’s philosophical beliefs?”
I said, “That’s an easy one. Looking back over my lifetime, I’ve spent most of my money on guns, airplanes, fast cars, women, and whiskey. The rest I just wasted.”
I was escorted out without getting to finish my last two rules to live by:
1) If it flies, floats, or f**ks, it’s cheaper to rent it.
2) If it’s got t!ts or tires, you’re gonna have problems with it.
I hope they invite me back next year so I can finish. Kids nowadays really need to know this shit!
Courtesy: Boyd Munro