Smile a While!

30 Dec, 2018

End of year Inspirational speech from an old pilot

I was the only speaker to show up, so I had the stage to myself.

I talked about staying in school, getting good grades and all that usual bullshit; and since I had plenty of time because those other guys didn’t show, I threw it open for questions.

The last one asked was, “Can you give us a couple of your life’s philosophical beliefs?”

I said, “That’s an easy one. Looking back over my lifetime, I’ve spent most of my money on guns, airplanes, fast cars, women, and whiskey. The rest I just wasted.”

I was escorted out without getting to finish my last two rules to live by:

         1) If it flies, floats, or f**ks, it’s cheaper to rent it.

         2) If it’s got t!ts or tires, you’re gonna have problems with it.

I hope they invite me back next year so I can finish. Kids nowadays really need to know this shit!
Courtesy: Boyd Munro