Elopement; the Problem, the Solution

Chitral -- Whether somebody likes to believe it or not, the incidences of elopement are on the increase in Chitral. Few decades back it used to be rare phenomenon in the Chitrali society where a girl would run off with a boy and contract marriage without the consent of the parents, but now it seems an every day affair. CN investigated the matter and found out that the cases of elopement were more driven by poverty than licentiousness.

It came to light that parents tied down by poverty, dread to think about the expenditures on a routine wedding whether it is of a boy or a girl. The lavish expenditures on weddings by people possessing easy and illgotten money has further cowed down the majority population struggling to make two ends meet. For this reason many parents put off marriage requests by their children on one pretext or the other and the children are forced to go for the short cut. As per Islamic law a boy and girl can contract marriage without consent of their parents, therefore the cleric who is approached by the couple to carry out the ritual also does not normally refuse it. The parents in most cases compromise later on and the expenditure on the marriage festival is saved.

The Solution: All problems have their solutions too and so has this one. A very respectable family of upper Chitral has set the example. The family arranged marriage was contracted in an extremely simple and dignified manner where only a handful of very close relatives of the groom went to the girl's house and after performing the Nikah, returned with the girl. The next day valima was also for the very limited number ( less than ten) of relatives. No public show, no expenditure beyond capacity, no getting into debts, no getting frustrated and mentally disturbed - just following the way of the Prophet -the Islamic way.

Whereas it is a tall order to expect such following from the society at large, the Ismaili community of Chitral under guidance of their spiritual leader HH the Aga Khan, has understood this and already taken remedial actions. Ismailis are actively advised  to avoid extravagance in marriage ceremonies and local councils ensure that the policy is followed by the community.

The way forward is to launch an aggressive campaign through the mosques, media, schools, colleges, and political platforms to make the people aware of the virtues of simplicity and the evils of extravagance which lead to disharmony in the society and are root cause of social ills like the increasing cases of elopement. -- CN report, 21 Dec 2011.

Comment 1

 I wish to express my disagreement  with the views of the writer of the report. I don't think elopement happens solely due to poverty. If poverty was the only reason then Somalia would have been on number first with the highest rate of elopement cases!!
To me, the reason seems to be the influence of Indian movies on our youth! -- Junaid Saleh Hayat, Islamabad 25 Dec 2011.

Comment 2

It is not only poverty alone but poverty coupled with ridiculously preposterous marriage expenses that have become a culture in our society, which lead to such unfortunate happenings. Indian TV dramas surely encourage it further. Who knows, if Somalia is suffering the same imbalance i.e poverty coupled with compulsory wasteful expenditures, it might also be suffering the same problem. -- CN reporter,25 Dec 2011.
 

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