Protect Daughters Please
-letter2
This is with reference to
a letter captioned “Protect Daughters Please” by Falak Naz Taj appearing in
Chitral News. My sister has raised an important issue relating to the plight
of the womenfolk in Chitral who are frequently married off to non-Chitralis
without knowing their consent. In support of her contention, she has also
sketched a touching scene of an encounter with a helpless Chitrali girl deserted
by her anonymous husband in a pathetic condition at Islamabad airport. More so,
the writer has also dwelled at length on the glorious customs and traditions
which till recently remained the hallmark of Chitral; and are now beginning to
crumble down like the house of cards. I agree with the writer’s perspective and
add a few more points to further elaborate the issue for healthy discussion.
No wonder, culture is not static and is vulnerable to change in due course of
time. In case of Chitral the materialistic inclination, arising out of
avaricious lust for money is most probably the main culprit leading to the decay
of the age-old cultural norms. We must admit the fact that Chitral is losing
ground to materialistic trends at the cost of our glorious customs and
traditions. It has influenced the institution of marriage adversely, which is
otherwise a sacred contract between two individuals. Wealth has become the
yardstick to measure the worth of a person. A good number of Chitralis happen to
consign character of a person to the dustbin when it comes to contracting
marriages between two individuals. Rather, social standing and wealth reigns
supreme, to say the least.
The non-Chitralis getting an undue advantage from this shortcoming play their
tricks on some of the simple natured people of Chitral. As the saying goes,
“Appearances are deceptive”. The Chitralis in some cases are unable to perceive
the true nature of such people and their deceptive tactics work wonders enticing
them to give the hands of their daughters in marriage to paupers and charlatans
in reality. The role of the undercover agents in the facilitation of the
marriages cannot be ignored and need to be given exemplary punishment for
playing with the sensibilities of the Chitrali masses. It is because of those
involved in this heinous business that Chitral has earned a bad name and the
people from outside Chitral dub its inhabitants as sellers of daughters at the
cost of paltry sum.
The role of some organizations functioning in Chitral to check this
take-and-give business of the aliens from taking roots in Chitral is worth
appreciable. It is on the record that the outcome of such organization’s efforts
has been wholesome; but the need of the hour is that these organizations must be
whole heartedly supported by other welfare organizations working in Chitral in
order to bolster the efforts undertaken by them. Most importantly, the efforts
they are making towards a great cause need to be encouraged and appreciated and
supported by religeo-political circles. Ironically, no positive response has so
far been received from that side as far as my knowledge is concerned.
The question arises: how to counter this issue head on. In the first place,
concerted efforts must be put in to create awareness among the people to beware
of swindlers in future. We should dispel the wrong impression that Chitralis
sell their daughters to outsiders at throw away prices to non-Chitralis by
raising the issue at print and electronic media. The media persons and the noted
columnists of Chitral might do the job in a befitting manner through
articulating it forcefully that the people of Chitral are cultured, civilized
and respectful citizens and labeling them with distorting clichés is below their
dignity and honor. Even if a nominal case relating to the matter under
discussion might have happened, the whole of Chitral can not be blamed for it.
Because the fact of the matter is that black sheep are found every where.
Waqar Ahmad,
Brep Chitral
11 Apr 10.
Protect daughters please!
-letter
I just want to share with the readers an event or
incident that occurred with me while I was coming from Islamabad. A lady dressed
up in an ubaya holding a six month old baby girl approached us. She could not
understand even a single word of Urdu or any other language apart from
Khowar/Chitrali. Her husband had left her at the airport and went back to his
home a few Km from Islamabad in a village. That day the flight got cancelled so
we came outside to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen, on inquiring
from the women about him as we being Chitrali could not have left her there
alone. She even did not know his name instead had a chit on which a few
telephone numbers were written, so we started dialing the numbers and luckily
found her husband at one of the numbers. So he was called and asked to come to
the airport to pick his wife up on which he showed up after two hours, so we
stayed with her all that time at the airport.
This lady was married to a widower in village in the suburb of Islamabad thrice
her age with grown up children. This woman was lucky that the man allows her to
come to her home and visit her family in Chitral.
Social environment and structure of the society keeps on changing everyday and
so has the attitude of the society and family changed towards girls. However,
the change of attitude of the majority of the society has not been positive.
Neglect of daughters is considered to a preconceived notion. The destiny of
girls is fixed right from the day they are born. There are very few daughters
who enjoy the support of the family and are able to grow on their own and make a
position for themselves in the society and are able to contribute to the society
significantly-becoming personalities whom the family and nation can be proud of.
Alas, such opportunities should have been were available to all the girls!
An unknown trafficker as I want to call him comes to the area posing as a
suitable bridegroom who is looking for a suitable bride. With the help of a
local broker, he hunts for his prey. The parents are only too happy and relieved
to hand their daughters. The parents are happy to let rid off their burden. The
parents do not even bother to find out with whom they are agreeing to marry off
their daughter or where she will go after marriage. As a result thousands of
girls are taken away in the name of marriage and some are traceless. The society
and the parents do not feel the need to find out where they have gone. Due to
lack of concern displayed by the society or any adequate opposition, the
traffickers are having a field day in the region and have managed to pick
victims at their will.
It is pertinent to ask who is responsible for this plight of the daughters.
There can be only one answer-all of us. We cannot escape taking responsibility
for this.
Our society is passing through an epidemic phase, old traditions are dying.
While age old values are becoming dying, new values and constructive traditions
are yet to formulize. This has led to fast growth of social abnormalities.
Our aim is to make the parents and the society believe that daughters are not
burdens but are assets for the family and society provided they are given
opportunities and proper grooming. All this may sound like tall claims or even
hollow slogans or day dreaming given our limited sources. But we believe that
every section of the society has got a role to play. We expect
everybody-politicians, administrators, media persons, social reformers, police,
judiciary and every other section of the society to contribute to this cause and
change the fate of the daughters.
Falak Naz Taj
Chitral.
05 April 10.
