Rising incidences of Elopement

-- Islamuddin

Few days back some one told me that during the past few weeks seven elopements took place in a single village in Chitral. Such incidences put the social fabric in disarray and cause disharmony. Some people say that there are sinister motives behind this tendency bordering on ethnicism and sectarianism as much as boys and girls, who want to marry, fear that their parents would not approve of the marriage and as such they decide to elope. There are others who argue that genderists and human rights activists have by default encouraged this tendency because they over-emphasize rights at the cost of responsibilities that children owe to their parents.

Whatever the reasons, this tendency needs to be curbed. The constitution, laws and Islamic injunctions oblige all Muslims to make consent as basis for contracting marriages. By upholding consent as basis for marriage, the Supreme Court has held mere dislike as sufficient ground for divorce This is clearly borne out by the example of the Holy Prophet himself. It was Hazrat Khadija who proposed to marry and the Prophet accepted the proposal, thus completing the contract before the marriage was solemnized. The Holy Quran allows Muslims to marry with people of the Book i.e Ahle Kitab. If that is so how come different sects of Islam can can not marry each other. In the past there was no such issue in Chitral. It is time that this distortion of faith is corrected and it is the duty of our ulema to guide the people in this behalf.

The government and NGOs are well advised to seek help of the ulema to promote gender and human rights. In fact gender rights are human rights par excellence. The pulpits of mosques and jamat khanas should be used for spreading this awareness. Young NGO activists do not understand our social dynamics and are likely to err, as is borne out by recent events under reference. It makes no sense, in fact it is myopic, to encourage or take pride if couples belonging to different denominations contract marriage through elopement. Children need respect and recognition, while parents consider them as chattels to be used or traded. This is not the way to create a self respecting community.

It is time that NGOs and government departments revisited their strategies and brought them in conformity with our ethos. Educational institutions should educate their students in such a way that boys and girls do not see each other as objects of sex rather they should consider them as normal human beings worthy of respect. Too much focus on animal instinct in the socialization process has brought us to this pass and it now needs to be reversed. Parents should rearrange their priorities and guide their children to first stand on their own two feet before thinking of marriage. In the world of today marriage is not a play thing for a child. It is a serious business. If couples are not in a position to take care of each other, how can they shoulder the responsibility to bring up children adept to meet the challenges of the emerging world order? Unfortunately many of these issues are not discussed in the awareness programs and training manuals of relevant outfits. It is time to correct these mistakes. -- Comment by Islamuddin, Garm Chashma Chitral, 08 Sep 2011.

Comment 1

I would like to comment on Islamuddin's article "rising incidence of elopement". I have been following chitralnews posts for a long time from abroad and this is the first time I am writing to your prestigious page.

It is no wonder that pseudo-intellectuals would always like to bring about embarrassing materials anywhere they have a chance. We also know that this is done without research and intentionally as a propaganda tactic to discredit Khow culture, but I am surprised by the attitude of chitralnews team who print each and every crab they receive from these quarters.

 This is a fact that each culture has its strength and weaknesses and Khow culture is no exception. "chitralnews" is viewed the world over and it does not belong only to people with a certain mind-set or intention. Going by your traditions, I hope you will discourage such quarters in future. -- Safdar Baig oveeri, Berlin, Germany.

Comment 2

With all due respect to my friend, Safdar Baig, I am sorry if I have hurt his sentiments. As a Chitrali, who takes genuine pride in Khow culture it also pained me to see increase in the tendency of elopement, after having remained outside Chitral for 35 years which took me to many countries around the world. When I returned to Chitral seven years ago I did not like to write about it at first but when it became endemic, I was guided by my religion that truth should be told even if it is bitter. There is a truism that problems can not be wished away through hiding ones head in the sand.

When I was away from Chitral like Safdar Baig I did not believe what I believe now because seeing is believing. I understand my friend has not been to Chitral in recent times or he may not have interacted with the kind of people and their problems which prod youngsters into elopement. It is not fair to pass judgment about intellectual caliber of a person without knowing him or her well. Even then I take his comment in positive sense and would try to further improve my intellectual caliber acceptable to my friend. I call him friend because he is our ambassador abroad and I understand his predicament over the issue but then who is perfect. Other cultures have bigger problems but Chitralis have at least the courage to admit their mistakes and make amends and this is our greatness and our promise which would stand us in good stead in the future and better Chitral is what we owe to our younger generation.

In conclusion I would like to thank Chitralnews for providing platform to us to air our views and opportunity for conflict resolution which is a pre-requisite for development. Hopefully we would be able to create culture of tolerance and mutual respect for each others views without being personal. I wish my friend Safdar well and extend him belated Eid Mubarak. --Islamuddin, Garm Chashma Chitral.

Comments 3

I was wondering after reading the comments of Safdar Baig Sahib The word (Pseudo-Intellectual) he used for Mr. Islamuddin is very pain full for me and may be for most readers of the news as well.

I have respect for both the gentlemen, but the way Safdar sahib notified the writer is not good. Actually, the reason behind it is living far away from the area for long time in developing such perception and thinking. But the ground reality is totally different in the area and so many things are happening time to time.

Therefore, I request all whether they are in Chitral or out side of the country that they should respect each other and think as Chitrali and be proud as a Chitrali.

 I personally thank the Chitral News team and r Islamuddin sahib for their effort in helping the people of Chitral and raising the issues of Chitral in a broader sense. -- Aftab Ali Baig, Chitral.

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