YOU ARE… What you believe yourself to be

- sent by Shireen Shehzad, Karachi-Pakistan

               Why is it so? When I look in the mirror, I don’t like what I see, I don’t like the way I look, I don’t like myself as a person and many more don’ts. Similarly, many people have negative thoughts about their looks, intelligence, etc. So what could be done for such people?  Should they isolate themselves? What could be there to make a hundred and eighty degrees shift in their lives? The answer to these questions is found in the way an individual perceives herself/himself, which is of utmost importance to the character of his behavior.

Actually we don’t see the things as they are; we see things as we want to see them. Moreover, our personal evaluations are based on the values of social group and the society. So, the need for such people is to develop their self esteem and self perception, which is one of the most powerful determinants of human behaviors. But the act of searching for oneself is a complex and difficult process. Because, self esteem is somewhat confusing and puzzling as it is not visual, audible and touchable but it affects how we sense about our own selves. The word self esteem means individual’s satisfaction with his/her own selfhood, which may range from high to low.  And self perception is the way you perceive about your own self. Hence, there are different factors influencing person’s self respect, which have consequences on their life. Therefore, we should know how to boost our positive self perception. As self esteem and positive self image is a springboard for all our successes and failures.

The factor affecting our self esteem is our own perceptions. People tend to act, as they perceive themselves to be. When youngsters have feelings of unworthiness, weakness and inferiority, they might display delinquent behaviors to mask their real feelings. Sometimes this behavior is a way of communicating to others that they are feeling lonely, unloved, ignored, etc. Therefore, our negative self perception keeps us away from seeing ourselves who we really are. If we feel less valuable than other person, we are suffering from low self esteem. Many a time’s comparing one to others, causes low self esteem. An author said “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are”. People have a tendency to highlight other’s good capabilities but they don’t bother to see their own admirable qualities. They in turn demotivate their own selves.  I wonder why do they forget that they are unique and have different identity with distinct qualities, which other’s do not have?. Thus instead of being proud of own uniqueness they are regretful for their life and their efforts to bolster their self esteem generally fail because they are unable to recognize any valuable accomplishment they have made. As a result, when we fail to live up to our standards, we have to suffer a lot. One proponent to my point said, “Low self esteem is like driving through life with your hand break on”. On that account, the need is to satisfy our own selves that help you to accept the way you are. Other added that, “I am as my creator made me and since He is satisfied, so am I”. If we believe that God is prefect then how can we doubt on his creatures?                

Consequently there is no easy recipe for raising the esteem, but parents, peers, and teachers have considerable effect on how one perceives himself/herself. Moreover, self enhancement is needed which refers to the tendency to hold realistically positive views about ourselves and it makes us feel better. If truth be told, it is a masked self which distort reality to such an extent that it paints a flattering picture of ourselves and can make us live in wonderland. So positive self image inflates our lives and rationally enhances our ego. Put all excuses aside and remember this, we are capable. Moreover, we should delete word “giving up” from our life dictionary because we have courage to do everything. Hence be the best friend of own self and love your identity. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Never feel yourself short. Believe in yourself regardless of what people think. You can accomplish anything, definitely anything - but! if you set your mind to it. See yourself in mirror and speak you are not regretful for your own self. We have the power and capabilities to feel contented confident and prosperous and definitely we deserve it because we are precious. Reassure yourself that you can also have good achievements in your life. As well as, stop comparing yourself to others.

Thus, if you want to come out of darkness and be in bright shines of the day, from the load of failure to the flight of success, all you need is to change the way you look at things. Although the clock from autumn to spring will tick slowly, and there will be a lot of tough time, so pack up to set a journey of success and your travel guide will be your own self esteem and your positive perceptions. So, get up! its time to prove your self as the best person in the whole world and you know that you are capable of it. Just shift your mind on the positive aspect of your life. Always be number 1 to yourself. Always reward yourself for achievements. Always believe that coming day will be the next opportunity day for us to show our talent. Finally I would conclude with one statement that YOU ARE THE BEST

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