A bicycle can’t stand alone, it is two tired
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
A dentist and a manicurist married – they fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Acupuncture: A jab well done.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all-right now.
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said “No change yet”.
The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.
Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet SMELL and their noses RUN
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.